Tuesday, 31 July 2012

A late night pondering - A catch up if you will.

So yes, it's been a while since I've written anything. So much for that new years resolution. 

So in the time since I last wrote something, I left Taiwan, I went to Thailand for three weeks, then to Hong Kong for three months, completed two diplomas in graphic and multimedia design and now I'm in the UK. I've been back for 2 months, in which I helped throw a surprise birthday party for my mum's 50th and then worked as a teacher on a camp in Epsom for three weeks.

So, in a nut shell that's what I've been up to.

Oh wait, one more thing, I've taken a job teaching in Spain, starting in September. 

Now you're fully up to date.

The reason I've finally made it to write another blog post is mainly because I can't sleep. As the title of this blog would suggest, most of my postings are during twilight hours when I have some Zzzz s to be catching.

Good writing should never be underestimated. It's the difference between Adrian Mole and your neighbours angsty daughter's diary. Or Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and Twilight. Or Twilight and 50 Shades.... Eurgh...

It's not something I've given enough thought to when writing this blog, mainly as I figured my audience would total in at one - that one being my mum. But as many others have demonstrated, a blog can gain popularity quite quickly. So perhaps rather than literally writing down words as I think them, maybe I should start thinking about what I actually write. 

You might be able to tell that this isn't happening with this post, but hey, give me a chance. 

This post is more like a diary entry. In that, I need to get my thoughts out. Albeit nonsensicle and probably lacking in any entertainment value whatsoever. No matter, this will be one of those posts that will get deleted some time in the future as it's too muhc gibberish to keep on the internet. There's enough of that already.

I'm just being considerate.

In the theme of Bridget Jones' Diary, Sex and the City, and all the other chick flick genres where the female protagonist finds the biggest problem in their otherwise pretty sweet lives is men, I find myself at a crossroad. 

I'm sure that this is not unfamiliar to many women.
It's like having a conscience, but instead of a bad devil there's a mini me, doped up on too much Travel Channel, on the pursuit of adventure. And in place of the good angel, there's my mum, aka responsibility. Both are ever present, contradicting each other.

An adventure to me means freedom. Freedom to do what I want, go where I want, whenever I want.

Responsibilty means getting a career, staying in one place long enough to have a career, meeting a 'parent approved' guy, getting married, getting a mortgage etc etc etc.

I can never quite fully commit to one without the other tugging at me, whispering in my ear, making sure I don't forget, there's something else you're not doing....

And in the kind words of my (actual) mother, "You're not getting any younger, if you don't marry someone soon, the good ones will be taken and you'll be left with the rubbish."

Or as someone else's nurturing parent said, "Some people marry later because obviously they're difficult to get along with and no one wants them."

Are they both right? Unfortunately, the answer is possibly.

I mean, that's still no excuse for saying these things out loud to vulnerable unmarried women. And we can all think of reasons why they're wrong. 
I may as well throw in the fact that both sources have been divorced.

So while I stand at the precipice of a new adventure, I still have the little mother on my shoulder tutting with her arms folded and shooting me looks of disapproval.

On the topic of men, it's not like I don't want to get married, it's just that it's hard when you're always going from place to place. Or when the specimens you meet are either past their sell-by date or about as ambitious as an Iceland ready meal. 
There have been some real gems along the way but I'm so messed up I couldn't hold on to them if I was a 14th century wench and they were the plague.
(Funny how that part of London's history was missed out of the opening ceremony huh? I think it'd have been rather entertaining to see people covered in boils and swollen groins dancing to some obscure but you should so know it hispter music.)

But should you settle? At what age should you start considering that really nice unassuming lad who's always been a bit sweet on you but boring as hell? 
I mean, he'll treat you nicely, he'll be there for you, you'll probably be the love of his life. But he won't be yours. When you have a fight, will you really respect his opinion? He'll have some stable steady job, and his exciting news for the day is that his office is getting a new printer. You'll suggest going to India for a month and he'll tell you all the economic reasons why you shouldn't and therefore won't.  

Being in Asia didn't help me much either. They say there's plenty of fish in the sea, but I was in a pond. And all the fish were trout. But all I wanted was salmon. I'm hoping being back in Europe will improve my odds. It better.

Right I've gotten to the point where I cannot keep my eyes open, so I should get to bed. I will start a new blog page for my travels. A new blog for a new era - Spain! 

Sol, Sangria, Paella! Vamos a la playa, a mi me gusta bailer! 

Oh yeah, didn't you know I could speak Spanish? 

Yeah, I really can't. Turns out just downloading a 'learn Spanish' app and listening to a few Spanish songs doesn't constitute as 'knowing' Spanish.
But hey, I'm like Tesco; every little helps!

And just like that, I've come up with a name for my new blog - Spanglish Senorita!

wut uuup

Link will be posted soon, watch this space!

D x

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